An exploration of risk taking and learning new things….

Over the last month I have continued my exploration of painting close ups of hyacinths. I am interested in exactly how “close up” to get in the image composition, and the impact of the size of the painting itself. As I go along, for  each of the paintings, I am playing with various colour palettes to suit the particular subject of that painting.

What I have realised is that the enquiry about scale and how close is going to take me a while. That’s actually great for me because I enjoy long projects. And this one allows some significant variation on the theme so I will find plenty of interest in keeping it going. I’m excited by that.

I also recognise I need to be brave and go with my creative instinct even when the paintings look and feel a bit weird or strange. I have discovered that this can happen at any time in the process of making the painting. Sometimes its hard to let go of wondering what people who like my older paintings will think of the new ones, or to stop worrying about “whether its any good”. And that worry seems to make my paintings tight and tense and lose something essential.

I have been learning other things as I go as sort of a by-product of just doing the work. It feels good to trust that learning always comes as a wonderful side effect of taking action. Sometimes the biggest learning comes from mistakes, and so my creative practice has helped me be more OK with making mistakes.

Some things I have learned alongside my primary question are:

I work best in concentrated bursts so allowing quiet weeks with plenty of time for painting in my schedule helps move my paintings forward. Also, I need enough time doing life so my creative well can fill up again after a burst of painting.

Planning how my paintings will look when they are finished does not work for me. I work better when I am clear about what the subject and line of enquiry is and let go of the outcome. I can however start planning how the final painting will look very close to the end. I like to edit a digital version to play with possibilities when I’m nearly finished. After that I have to let go of outcomes again, in order to complete the painting.

Sometimes painting a subject more accurately and realistically vs the visual reference can look quite abstract when its completed, and feel quite abstract while I’m working on it too. I really enjoy that.

Sometimes life rudely interrupts or changes suddenly. When that happens the flow of the work can also abruptly change. I believe that is because I have been changed by what happened so my work reflects that, and that’s OK.

I work best when I am relaxed and joyful. And, painting helps relax me and make me happy as well. The idea of the tortured artist doesn’t work for me.

The act of observing what I paint helps me to get to know my own self more intimately.

What do you learn in your regular practices? Are they different to mine? I’d love to hear from you.